When Shohag Mia from Mymensingh district, married Sharmin Akhter he believed women were responsible for household work. As he looked back on his marriage, he remembered how he turned a blind eye to Sharmin’s running around all day, doing multiple tasks at a time, and adjusting every step of the way in their new house, in different roles from a new wife to eventually a mother of two small children.
He remembered telling himself, “You are a man, this is not your headache.”
He and Sharmin felt pressure from surrounding people when she decided to join the H&M-supported Oporajita initiative’s Women-friendly Space (WFS). Sharmin became a member of WFS in October 2023. Before joining the WFS, she was already burnt out from shouldering all the responsibilities of their home. As a woman, this role of caretaker had been emphasized all her life.
“Ignoring all the noise around her, my wife started going to the WFS in our area. That was the first time I saw Sharmin do something for herself,” said Shohag.
Once Sharmin became a member, she joined the learning sessions at the center. Through these sessions, she got to know deeper into topics like sex and gender, violence against women, effective problem-solving, decision-making, health and nutrition, and stress management.
Whatever she learned about women’s rights from the centre, she would share with neighbouring women. She would discuss these issues with everyone at home. She had lengthy discussions with her husband. The centre became Sharmin’s "me space" where her new friends uplifted each other.
Shohag started to see a change within Sharmin, a growth within her. She was more relaxed and more confident, and she had a new sense of self-worth. Sharmin told Shohag about the couple’s workshop organized at the WFS and asked him to join the workshop. She wanted them to participate in that workshop. Though initially reluctant, Shohag joined the workshop with her.
“I had my reservations at first, but my curiosity gave in,” explained Shohag. “When I joined the Couple’s Workshop and was asked to analyse our roles to bring balance to our home, it was an eye-opening moment. The workshop provided me with the space to understand that sharing work at home with our female members has nothing to do with being a man; it’s about being a better human.”
From the workshop, Shohag Mia started to understand better the division of labour, the valuation of household work, access, and control, gender upbringing, the harmful effects of violence, happy and unhappy relationships, sexual and reproductive health, and the role of men in family planning. With the Couple’s Workshop initiative at WFS, the Oporajita initiative of CARE Bangladesh tried to build a more equal relationship between couples.
Shohag's perspective started to shift. He used to think that household work was solely a woman's responsibility. But now he is working at home alongside his wife. Together, they celebrated events like International Women's Day on March 8, International Labor Day, and a men's cooking competition from the WFS.
Like Sharmin, Shohag also started advocating for sharing work at home with his friends and neighboring men. For Shohag Mia, sharing household tasks now meant reducing the pressure on Sharmin at home and improving his family's health and mental well-being.